Fearniversary: Fear Dating!

      “Venti Java Chip Frappuccino Blended, three pumps brown sugar syrup, three pumps caramel syrup, two pumps cinnamon dolce syrup, three pumps raspberry syrup, one pump toffee nut syrup, one pump mocha sauce, extra barista cocoa powder, light holiday sugar sparkles, and one pump honey blend.”      I have to give the barista credit for not even flinching as the girl in front of her ordered what was basically a cup of liquidized sugar. I tried to focus on my plain coffee and not think about how that crime against drinks would taste. Usually I wouldn’t have my coffee as black as this, but I needed the extra bitterness to keep my mind grounded. And maybe also because I felt bad for the employees and wanted to give them the simplest drink order I could. I kept my eyes firmly focused on my cup as the girl walked to my table and sat down. I suppose she could have been called beautiful, if you were into pale and emaciated corpses. Knowing what was underneat...

 Greetings everyone! I am The Announcer and today in this action packed episode of whatever the hell this is we're commentating on... A date between Omega and The Dying Man?  Nope I quit... I'm out... No I'm not commentating on a date, that's just weird. Just like... put mics on them or something I'm going home. *Technical difficulties* Random Technician: Yeah yeah... so just wear those lapel mics and talk normally... pretend we're not even here, okay? Omega: Who even are you? *More technical difficulties* The Dying Man: So... Lovely restaurant right? Omega: Seriously, who was that guy? What is happening right now? *Even more technical difficulties* Omega: Y... Yes... Lovely restaurant... I'm sure the food is great... can we talk about something though?   The Dying Man: Of course, what's on your mind? Omega: It's about your choice of body... The Dying Man: What? You got a problem with my choice of body? Oh you're bothered that it's a male bod...

  Acelegin; Hello, everybody! I'm Acelegin. And I am yet again joined by my co-host, Red Daniel! Red Daniel; Wait a minute... didn't we both die last year? Acelegin; I have no idea what you're talking about. Red Daniel; You got crushed to death! By a giant ball! And I got impaled by a flaming wakizashi! Again! Acelegin; You and I remember last year very differently. Red Daniel; And we fought to death a year or two before that! How the hell are we back? Acelegin; I'm not sure what you're going on about. Are you sure you're sober right now? Red Daniel; Of course I'm not! But I could swear we've both been killed off twice in previous fearniversaries! Acelegin shrugs Acelegin; I don't know what to tell you, man. Red Daniel sighs Red Daniel; So what, are we back to commentate on another fight? Acelegin; Um, let me check my notes real quick... Acelegin skims over some papers in front of him Acelegin; Actually, it s...

Omega steps through the door of the incredibly nondescript restaurant wherein tonight's date is supposed to take place. However, when he steps through the door, he instead finds himself in a dark forest, the sky above a deep periwinkle blue. Omega instantly realises where he is and who he’s supposed to be on a date with, and chuckles softly to himself. In response, a voice resounds behind him. “Omega.” “It's been six years since we last met,” Omega replies, turning around to face his partner for the night, who doesn’t, himself, face Omega because he hasn’t got one of those. Omega continues: “I thought you were dead.” “Dead? If only,” ol’ slendy retorts. “No, that wasn’t me. The Slender Man you fought was the Slender Man as imagined, and copyrighted, by Victor Surge. I, however, am the slender man (lowercase) as he appears in Arkngard’s Slender Ran trilogy.” “Then why are you here? If you’re not the Slender Man I fought seeking revenge, then we have no reason to...

Tonight Our bachelor Omega will go on a date with the lovely Mother of Snakes. Will he have more luck in love than he has in preventing his own death? Let's find out! This date will take place in a classy little restaurant near the beach. The setting sun is beautifully reflected in the hundreds of mirrors. Wait, why are there so many mirrors in this restaurant? An interesting design choice... Sorry I got distracted. Let's get to our date. Omega is sitting at a lovely little booth in the corner with a window that looks directly at the beach. He is sipping a drink while he waits for his date. *knock knock* Omega looks confused for a second. Not knowing where the sound came from. *knock knock* It came from.. above? Omega looks up at the mirror on the ceiling. There he is greeted by the Mother of snakes herself. She waves at him from behind the mirror. She seems to be going all out for this date. She is wearing an expensive looking black dress and has her most sensual make up on. S...